Growing up with strict parents certainly isn’t easy. If you have children, you might also be stricter than other parents which could make you doubt whether you are doing everything right. However, studies have confirmed that strict parents actually raise their children to become better people.
After conducting a study in 2015, which was published by the Institute for Social and Economic Research, University of Essex professor Ericka Rascon-Ramirez explains:
“[The] measure of the expectations in this study reflects a combination of aspirations and beliefs about the likelihood of access to higher education declared by the majority of parents, in most cases the mother.”
For 4 years, Rascon-Ramirez studied a database of 15,500 schoolgirls between the age of thirteen and fourteen and discovered that the children of strict mothers were more secure and confident.
Additionally, the teenage daughters of nagging and persistent mothers had a lower frequency of premature pregnancies by 4 percent, and kids with strict parents had an increased chance to finish school, get a job, and be successful in life.
“In many cases, we succeeded in doing what we believed was more convenient for us, even when this was against our parents’ will. But no matter how hard we tried to avoid our parents’ recommendations, it is likely that they end up influencing, in a more subtle manner, choices that we had considered extremely personal…
What our parents expected about our school choices was, very likely, a major determinant of our decisions about conceiving a child or not during our teenage years.” Therefore, they found that the healthy parental pressure raises the chances of their children to complete school, and lead to a better future life. Yet, there are also studies which show that strict parenting negatively affects children, and the psychotherapist Philippa Perry believes that it can turn the child into a liar, since it will feel unsafe, to tell the truth.
This can be a result of different factors, like shaming the child in front of others, excessive discipline, and putting pressure on it to be perfect. “We do our kids no favors at all when we persecute them for lying. We can be curious about the lie, we can be interested in it, and look at our part in it. But being draconian and rigid about it is not going to make a situation better.” Therefore, every parent should find a middle ground in order to stimulate the values and provide guidelines while raising the children.
Yet, scientists point out the fact that Asian-American students are intellectually superior to all other ethnic groups, especially in science in maths, and their parents are demanding and strict and believe in rewards and punishments. Yet, you should work to focus on authoritative parenting, which will allow you to be communicative, open, and warm with your children, but you should again have high standards.
Here are the differences between authoritarian and permissive parenting:
In authoritarian parenting:
- Excessive discipline causes rebellious children
- Strict discipline makes children believe that use of power is always right
- Children are prone to lying and are ‘good’ only when surrounded by authorities
- Child-parent relationships are based on fear and lack of empathy
In permissive parenting:
- All desires of the children are fulfilled at someone else’s expense
- Children do not learn about self-management as there are no healthy limitations
- There is no tolerance of legitimate feelings of sadness and disappointment
- Parents accept compromises even when they shouldn’t
Yet, these attitudes are two extremes that should be avoided, and instead, be replaced with authoritative parenting. Parents set healthy limits while not forgetting about the empathy.
Remember that even when you need to be strict and set the limits, you can also show your love and affection to your dearest ones at the same time and thus maintain the healthy balance.