1. CD/Bagel Holder – It’s About The Plastic
So stashing your bagel sandwich where your CDs used to be sounds awesome on paper. And yeah, you could wash it as many times as you can to get off any of the clearly unsafe chemicals rubbed off from the discs. But the plastic itself is most likely not food-grade so the dyes will affect your bread and your other ingredients to your lunch.
2. Grilled Cheese Toaster Inferno
No pan to toast your slice your bread and all-American yellow cheese? Just tip over your trusty toaster and stick both of them inside! Just have your fire extinguisher ready, as it has in people’s homes in England among others.
3. Unbuckle Your Brew Into A DUI
Let’s pop this one open mentally for a second here – you have a bottle in your hand while in a car. Then you have the genius idea of opening it, while you’re still unbuckled. Unless memory serves anyone right, open container laws will get you arrested real quick if they find you with one. (And don’t give us that, “Oh it’s just for a Coke.” You know damn well you’re not using this for a soda.)
4. Toothpaste Mints? Gross
Having a bumping party but have no cash for party favors? You can go ahead and freeze your toothpaste, then slice them up into impromptu dinner mints you can serve to your guests. You can then shake your head in horror as they puke them out from feeling the effects of poisoning via toothpaste.
5. Dyeing For Those Tea Bag Warmers
Besides looking incredibly dumb holding a wet bag to tea in your hands, this is not that effective. Even worse, you have an added threat of staining your hands pretty badly. Just buy some real hand warmers instead.
6. You Can’t Pee Your Way Out Of A Jellyfish Sting
Oh, this golden shower is a true oldie but goldie (see that Friends episode). But remember that TV is filled with lies – peeing on a jellyfish sting will, in fact, make it hurt more. Basically, the more urine that splashes onto the stinging area, the more venom is released – ouch.